Today I am 39 weeks – officially more pregnant than I’ve ever been (as Lu was born at 38+4), and yeah, it feels that way.
In general, I am trying to trust my body a lot more this pregnancy and not trying anything to “naturally” induce labour, beyond staying active and positive. But it’s fucking hard.
Patience has never been my strongest quality, and with the hormones and bodily discomforts that come with this stage of pregnancy, it’s pretty natural to start feeling a bit… antsy. And there’s some interesting behaviour that comes along with it.
Here are a few things that you really only ever do when you’re 39 weeks pregnant.
- Wish Pain Upon Yourself
When I first started getting Braxton-Hicks contractions (way early in this pregnancy – around 16 weeks!) I thought “Yay! My uterus is practising. My body knows what it’s doing!” Now when I feel that familiar tightening, I’m like “Come on uterus, is that all you’ve got?? Bring on that productive pain!”
- Get Excited About Diarrhoea
Is my body emptying itself in preparation for labour? That must be it. It’s probably got nothing to do with the Mexican black bean soup I ate for dinner last night because everyone keeps telling me to eat spicy foods. Pregnancy is glamourous.
- Wear a Sports Bra and Yoga Pants in Public
When I was pregnant with Lu I remember seeing a heavily pregnant lady in Ikea, wearing this exact outfit. My husband and I exchanged some snarky words about how she’d clearly given up on life. Now? This lady is my patron saint and I salute her innovation in maternity style and giving exactly zero fucks.
- Cry Over Every. Little. Thing.
On Friday I cried because I couldn’t open a jar of pasta sauce, and if I wasn’t strong enough to do that, how would I be strong enough to birth my baby. (Note: I wasn’t trying to open it with my vagina, but somehow reached this conclusion anyway.) My favourite crying in pregnancy story comes from a close friend who locked herself in the bathroom, crying, because she cut an apple with a knife that had been used on an onion, and now her apple tasted like onion. The struggle is real.
- Ask Someone To Talk To Your Vagina
“Maybe if he hears your voice, he’ll be drawn towards it and want to come out. No, not up there! His head is down here.”
- Have the World’s Worst Dirty Talk
I’m pretty sure late pregnancy sex is what caused my prodromal labour with Lu, so we’re avoiding it this time around. But I do remember these very business-like sexual transactions that caused me to say things like “You put that baby in there, now help me get her out!”
- Make Threats on Your Partner’s Snacks
Look, all I’m saying is that if you’ve got a block of dark chocolate with almonds, unopened, in the cupboard for over a week, then you obviously don’t value or deserve said chocolate. Sometimes the threats even extend to your three year old…
It’s a pretty magical time.
In all seriousness, I am trying to make the most of these last days with my only child and getting decent sleep.
Now bring on the explosive diarrhoea, mucus plugs and pass me the placenta bowl!