When I tell people that I really wanted Luella to be a girl, I often get looked at like a horrible person. The “right” answer of course is “I just want the baby to be healthy.” But the first time around I realllllllly wanted a girl.
This time I genuinely felt I’d be happy either way. I liked the idea of sisters who could share clothes and grow up together, but also the idea of having “one of each”. Jim was the one secretly pining for a boy. Seeing as we’re 99% certain we’re not having more than two kids, it seemed like his “last shot”.
A small part of me still worried about how “different” a boy would be.
There were some fairly superficial concerns. We realised that Lu and Sauce Face would be the same age difference as my brother and I. We weren’t exactly best buds growing up… or ever. So I thought a sister might be more likely to change that pattern. But of course there are no guarantees! And Jim is close with his older sister so it all depends.
Also, let’s just put it out there. I am immature. I can’t stop giggling about penises. Like, growing a penis inside me??? Ahhhhhhh!!! They’re so in your face. Hahahaha ok, I’ll stop now.
Onto the bigger stuff… Since having a child I’ve developed a lot more female friendships. I frequently blog about celebrating womanhood and how strong females are. Would male energy throw off this dynamic?
But of course, the more I think about it, the more I realise I’m unfairly assigning a lot of assumptions based on gender norms. Like a boy would be rowdy and out of control, not at all like my sweet, sensitive daughter. Which is ridiculous, as Luella has her bouncing-off-the-wall days, and I know plenty of calm, caring little boys.
So maybe a boy could actually challenge my feminist parenting, in a good way. Like, I’ve got no problems letting Lu wear boy clothes, but would I be just as comfortable letting my son wear his big sister’s dresses? I guess we’ll find out!
Raising boys with feminist values is just as important as raising strong girls, and I’m pretty lucky that I get to give it a go!
Here’s our little guy, who we got to finally see on Friday:
We didn’t do any earlier scans this time so it felt like ages till we got to see our baby and I have to say, I was a little surprised by the overwhelming love I felt when I saw him.
Suddenly he was no longer abstract – a little bump with some occasional belly flurries – but my baby boy!
Can’t wait to meet you on the outside, little one!